ONE day a woman called our photo studio and asked if we could remove the hat her husband was wearing in a particular portrait. We explained it was possible, but very expensive, and suggested having a new photograph taken rather than retouching. She was determined, however, to have the portrait altered. Before proceeding, we had to know how her husband had styled his hair, and asked if she could send us a photo to give us something to copy. "That won't be necessary," she replied. "You'll be able to see his hair when you take his hat off''

As a portrait photographer I encountered many children who were less than enthusiastic about getting their pictures taken. This prompted me to figure out some tricks that would make the job easier. One of these was "Molly the Mouse," a small, stuffed toy that I would hold up to the side of the camera. The child was told that Molly would take the picture, and I would jiggle the mouse with one hand as I pressed the shutter-release button with the other. This trick would enthrall most children long enough for me to get a good set of pictures. One little girl, whose pre-Molly portraits were unsatisfactory, made a return visit. With the help of Molly the Mouse, the sitting proved most successful. When the prints were ready, the mother, accompanied by her daughter, came to pick them up. "Aren't they nice?" She cooed to the child. "Oh, yes," came the reply. "The mouse is a much better photographer than that man."

MY FATHER had a roll of black and white film that needed developing and he asked me to find a laboratory that would do it without delay. I started to telephone around and on my third call had the following conversation: "Hello?" said the voice on the other end of the line. "Yes, hello there," I said. "Do you have a black and white lab on the premises?" There was a brief pause. "Well, no, but we do have a springer spaniel. Is that good enough?"

IT WAS a large wedding party, and afterwards the photographer took a long time getting family groups together for pictures. The groom sat by me, waiting with barely concealed impatience. "Now I'd like to get the bride alone," the photographer finally announced. Leaning towards me, the groom whispered, "So would I!"

ONE day a woman came to my photography studio with her ten-year-old son and asked me to take passport-size photos of him. When I had finished, she had the boy change his jacket and asked me to take a second set of photos. Intrigued, I asked her why she had had him change clothes. "I have identical twin boys," she replied, "and the other one hates having his picture taken. When they need identification photos, I bring in this son and a second jacket, so anyone looking at the photos can tell them apart."