How to be a pro guitarist!!

[The Aussie Badass]

For those of you who don't know, Chewbacca (member here) and myself are in a band together, both guitarists (we swap between lead and rhythm xD) anyway we came up with a list of 10 things you MUST (not) do if you want to be a pro guitar player (if you are planning on picking up the instrument in the future) This is mainly about guitar, but can apply to other instruments.



1. You must ALWAYS buy the most expensive guitar/amp and equipment. Anything too cheap and you’ll sound like shit and look like a complete tight arse. Spend your life savings if you have to.
2. When playing electric guitar, NEVER EVER have the guitar strap too high. The guitar must NEVER be above your crotch. It is cool and pro to set yourself up for risk of carpel tunnel syndrome. Comfort is for losers and n00b guitar players.
3. Don’t use capos, they are for wimps.
4. Once you have learned the song, never practise for more than 10 minutes. If you need any more practise than this, you are obviously a shit guitar player and should think about quitting.
5. Speed is everything. If you can’t play fast, you suck simple as that. Who care’s about accuracy as long as you are really fast who gives a shit?
6. Don’t waste your time learning scales, they are boring and pointless.
7. If you have to use an electronic tuner in order to tune your guitar, you should quit right now. Because EVERYONE focuses on whether a guitarist can tune accurately by ear or not.
8. If you are female, don’t even think about it, guitar is a man’s instrument!
9. If your cover does not sound EXACTLY like the original, note by note, chord by chord.. Then it sucks.
10. If you have no natural talent, you will never be half decent so don’t even try it.


and there we go people, Chewie and my 10 tips of being a (not so) pro guitar player.

DISCLAIMER: For those of you who do not pick it up, this list is purely sarcasm. It is based on things we have heard from idiots who have either never picked up a guitar in their lives, or play but have no idea what they are talking about plain and simple.

[Stingette]

Lmfao

so is a limited edition gibson guitar one of only 255 in the world and marshall amps good enough?

[The Aussie Badass]

How much was it?

[Stingette]

we picked it up for a few hundred pound in a second hand shop as a surprise for him, we were the ones who got the shock when we went to buy some new strings at a guitar shop a few streets away and they offered about 5 times the money we had paid for it

[Chewbacca]

Lmfao

so is a limited edition gibson guitar one of only 255 in the world and marshall amps good enough?

*drools* Lmfao, I love pro tip # 2.. Reminds me when I played in Battle of the Bands at High School in year 11 (Same band, but different vocalist and only one guitar player, me) In the first round, we played "Take me Out by Franz Ferninad. After the song, some year 7s or 8s came up to me and started criticism me about how high i wore the guitar. How dorky it looked and that guitarists like Slash and Angus Young look much more pro because they wear it lower. In the final, the next week we played Knights of Cydonia by Muse. and I lowered the guitar strap this time. The same year 7s were sitting right at the front, and during the song, I deliberately walked up to them (Making it look like i was interacting with the crowd" and started showing off right in their face!! They got up and left. LOL I was trying so hard not to laugh and make myself look like an idiot.

[Stingette]

lmfao doesn't matter where dan puts his guitar he looks awesome and plays amazingly

I'll also not point out he has a custom built guitar rac that holds 18 guitars and he needs a new one cause it's full

the kid can equip a band for a stage show and still wants more stuff.....what a brat

[Oldschool]

*drools* Lmfao, I love pro tip # 2.. Reminds me when I played in Battle of the Bands at High School in year 11 (Same band, but different vocalist and only one guitar player, me) In the first round, we played "Take me Out by Franz Ferninad. After the song, some year 7s or 8s came up to me and started criticism me about how high i wore the guitar. How dorky it looked and that guitarists like Slash and Angus Young look much more pro because they wear it lower. In the final, the next week we played Knights of Cydonia by Muse. and I lowered the guitar strap this time. The same year 7s were sitting right at the front, and during the song, I deliberately walked up to them (Making it look like i was interacting with the crowd" and started showing off right in their face!! They got up and left. LOL I was trying so hard not to laugh and make myself look like an idiot.

lol!!!!

[Carnage]

scales are boring and pointless .... very true ..